All I want for Christmas . . .

Kcuf links. Bahahahahaha. Look at em. Ahahahahahahahahaha.

You Deserve to Die.

if you eat this.
Seriously. WTS. I've been the arse end of a few obligatory comments for cleaning out WAWA's dairy section of cottage cheese (not the doubles, them shits are foul). But believe you me mamacita I know how and when to indulge.

1476 calories, 76.2 grams of fat, 556 mg of cholestorol on a some overblown sugar coated processed americana breakfast slop should be no one's indulgence.

ATTN: Red Staters, contiue to order this and die. Smoke a Marlboro afterward. After you eat this, not after you die. That would be spooky.

You remind me of a girl, that I, once knew...

You looked so good on the bar menu. The first time I had you in my mouth you were delicious. Now when I look at you my stomach bubbles in disgust.

I can't believe I ate that.

True Bromance

Look at these muuuuuufuckers. They are 2 years older than the Earth and they ran a train on Lucille Ball. They have been fingercuffing women since the roaring 20s. Where do you think they are going right now????? To the old folks home, to get wheel chair blowies from your grandmothers.

This is how it sounds.

Mmmm. What a seductive message to a creepster lurking behind you at the bar. Or an ill-placed bumpersticker from a wayward activist. Either way, words to live by. Jus' cause some of us dance to the beat of another, don't hesitate to



You should hope to end up here, that means you moved me.

Macho Poncho

is not ok..."Oh hey I'm in Old City on a tour of the nation's 1st capital so I have license to parade around in Glad's finest ensemble and pause in reverence at the site of every inkling of historia while my skank tourguide daughter pretends she lives here although she drove me here from Yardley. Thank God I picked up these bobos on 8th and market on my way down so when I fall face first down a flight of slick slate penn's landing steps the bums can pillage my pants for Abraham's copper likeness."

Poncho's are only ok at amusement parks and Penn State tailgates. You are only allowed to buy one while it is raining canines and pussy cats. I don't make the rules I merely abide by them.

We're getting there.

Thank You Slim...

For allowing me to vent through your sick head. That way I can just sing your songs and not have to deal with my own thoughts.



This website may start to be fun again. I can feelz it.